Gone for You
i write poems & love letters about you
almost every dark day.
they stack up,
one by one,
an endless pile of words saying,
“i love you”
&
“what do i do”
i am so gone for you.
so, so gone.
& yet all i can manage
are unsaid poems & unread love letters.
i wrote another one today
& threw away the one i wrote
yesterday.
& every time i rip those words apart,
throwing those broken words away,
my heart yearns to throw away
these feelings for you just as easily.
i am so gone for you
& it
terrifies me.
so here i am,
letting my hand flow
as i pour this wretched soul
into comprehensible words.
for i cannot say them.
i’m sorry.
i’m sorry.
i’m sorry.
i’m sorry.
i’m sorry for loving you
& i’m sorry for not saying anything right.
& yet,
i wouldn’t take any of it back.
there is nothing to grab onto anyway.