Gone for You

Untitled

Jessie Jones

Untitled

i write poems & love letters about you

almost every dark day.

they stack up,

one by one,

an endless pile of words saying,

            “i love you”

&

            “what do i do”

 

i am so gone for you.

so, so gone.

& yet all i can manage

are unsaid poems & unread love letters.

 

i wrote another one today

& threw away the one i wrote

yesterday.

& every time i rip those words apart,

throwing those broken words away,

            my heart yearns to throw away

            these feelings for you just as easily.

 

i am so gone for you

& it

terrifies me.

 

so here i am,

letting my hand flow

as i pour this wretched soul

into comprehensible words.

            for i cannot say them.

 

                        i’m sorry.

i’m sorry.

            i’m sorry.

                                    i’m sorry.

i’m sorry for loving you

& i’m sorry for not saying anything right.

 

            & yet,

                                    i wouldn’t take any of it back.

there is nothing to grab onto anyway.